SINGAPORE: When it comes to raising a baby in Singapore, many parents rely on domestic helpers. But one Facebook post from a worried mother has sparked a fiery debate online when she asked if her helper has an attitude problem when taking care of her baby.
The mother, who shared her story in a popular MDW/FDH (Migrant/Foreign Domestic Worker/Helper) in Singapore (working conditions forum) Facebook group, wrote: “My domestic helper, who has been with us for 2 months, has been OK so far (good attitude at work and shows proactiveness, loves my child, and shows some signs of improvement). However, she closes her eyes to nod off and sleep whenever she is alone with my baby. I have told her many times not to do so, as it poses a safety risk. My baby fell out of the bed and hit her head once because my helper shut her eyes to sleep while watching her.”
She added, “My helper only does night duties 2-3 times a week, and even on days when she is not doing night duties, she still shuts her eyes despite multiple warnings. And even though the family takes over childcare at 7 pm to ensure their helper gets rest, the nodding-off problem persists — even on days without night duty. So her question to the community was, “Is this an attitude problem? Do your helpers close their eyes while taking care of the baby as well? Should I continue to tolerate this, or should I change her?”
“Attitude problem? More like the helper is feeling exhausted and not getting enough rest…”
The comments section then erupted with contrasting perspectives. Some sided with the mother, stressing the dangers:
“It could be she is too tired and dozes off when with the baby. However, I totally agree with you that her behaviour does pose risks to the baby,” one wrote.
“Maybe you want to stop her from touching your kid. No joke, it’s very dangerous for the baby — one mistake and you may regret it for life,” wrote another.
Others, however, accused the employer of being unrealistic, even unfair.
“Wow! You don’t want her to rest, and you make her care for your child at night three times a week. That’s not fair. You should be paying her for night duty. I know someone who reported a similar case to the Ministry of Manpower (MoM), and MoM made the employer pay extra,” a helper responded.
“Of course she’ll be tired, plus she’s taking a night duty? Put yourself in her shoes… It’s your child, you should take care at night. Even robots will break down if they don’t rest — how much more us humans?” another chimed in.
One blunt comment summed it up with: “Attitude problem? More like the helper is feeling exhausted and not getting enough rest.”
“Even mothers can easily doze off because it’s exhausting. It’s actually really tough…”
Practical advice also poured in from different group members, with some collectively suggesting baby-proofing measures:
- “Place your baby in a crib or just a mattress on the floor.”
- “Secure the bed with a fence so your baby won’t fall.”
Others said the solution might be as simple as scheduled nap time:
- “Give your helper time to nap at lunchtime — 12 to 2 pm. Trust me, it helps. It worked for me.”
- “Even mothers can easily doze off because it’s exhausting. It’s actually really tough.”
Can they expect a human — not a machine — to stay alert around the clock?
The case highlights a larger tension in Singapore households: Balancing a helper’s workload with a child’s safety. Under MoM guidelines, foreign domestic workers/helpers are entitled to rest days, proper working hours, and protections against overwork. If employers require night duties, compensation may be required.
At the heart of this debate is one question parents can’t escape: Can they expect a human — not a machine — to stay alert around the clock?
The employer is still deciding whether to keep her helper, but the online discussion makes one thing clear — when it comes to childcare, the line between care and exhaustion is razor-thin.
