SINGAPORE: Worried that she will soon lose her “private space” and peace once her in-laws move in, a woman took to social media to vent her frustrations and ask why HDB continues to build Build-to-Order (BTO) flats “so small.”
Posting on the r/askSingapore forum on Thursday (Oct 2), the woman explained that her in-laws had recently downgraded and sold their flat without first applying for or securing a new home. As a result, they will be moving in with her and her husband for the foreseeable future.
“It annoys me a bit because I don’t know how long they’ll stay with us because their priority is SBF/new flats, which will take years,” she wrote.
“They also don’t want resale ‘cause it’s expensive. My BTO is small, and I feel like I’m gonna lose my me-time space since they’ll be taking up the living room TV space. Walls are thin, I can hear whatever they talk about, etc. My husband says, ‘Don’t see it as an issue.’ I [just] can’t understand why HDB build BTO so small and then expects couples to start a family.”
The woman admitted that while she and her husband once stayed with her in-laws in the past while waiting for their BTO flat, that arrangement had not been her choice. “I didn’t have a say in it because they offered, and it’s his parents. I would have preferred renting our own space,” she explained.
Although her in-laws had not yet moved in, she said that she already feels stressed because she desperately needs some “peace and quiet” at home. She also doesn’t like it when other people “constantly ask her questions,” which she predicts may happen with her in-laws, as she already gets enough of this at work.
Unsure how to handle the situation, she asked other locals: “Anyone else had their parents/in-laws staying in your small BTO too? How do you cope with having your own space?”
“Are you sure they did not plan this?”
In the comments, many Singaporean Redditors pointed out to the woman that the issue here was not the “HDB” or the “size of the flats,” but rather her husband.
Some said that, based on her story, her husband doesn’t seem to care about her well-being or respect her boundaries.
A few also speculated that his parents may have done this deliberately so they could live with their son again.
“Your in-laws want to cling to their son. There’s no way they don’t know what they are doing,” one Redditor wrote. “I suggest you don’t have a kid first. Your husband is a big red flag, and together with the in-laws, it is an atomic bomb package. At this rate, it might end in divorce. Don’t spend too much on the HDB reno.”
Another said, “Are you sure they did not plan this? Also, once they are in your house, it will be VERY difficult to make them leave. So you have to be brave and decide if you want to live with them or not. If not, muster the courage to tell your husband. Bury your thought, and it’s the therapist or divorce court lying in your future, and that’s messier.”
A third added, “Your husband is the problem here, but if you don’t divorce him or stand your ground such that they don’t move in, you become the problem. Stop victimising yourself, you’re an adult capable of making adult decisions and you know what you need to do.”
In other news, a tech professional with about five years of experience recently went online to ask if it would be worth giving up part of his salary in exchange for a better work-life balance.
In a post on the r/singaporefi subreddit on Tuesday (Sept 30), the employee shared that he has received an offer from another company that would pay him S$112,000 annually, which works out to about S$17,000 less than what he is making now.
Read more: Tech professional asks if he should take S$17k annual pay cut for better work-life balance
