SINGAPORE: A 29-year-old woman turned to Reddit to ask if she was “overreacting” for wanting a divorce after feeling that her marriage had slowly fallen apart.
Posting on the r/asksg forum on Sunday (Mar 19), she shared that she and her husband dated for three years and have been married for two. In the beginning, their relationship felt easy and fulfilling. They were close, constantly talking, and never seemed to run out of things to say to each other.
Over time, however, that connection faded. She said they have drifted so far apart that she now feels deeply “lonely” in the marriage. Their different work schedules mean they rarely spend meaningful time together. Even when her husband is free, he tends to prioritise his friends or spend hours playing mobile games at home instead of engaging with her.
“When we are at home together, we barely talk. There is little communication or emotional connection, and it feels like we are just living day to day.”
“Whenever I try to talk about how I feel, he dismisses it and says I’m too sensitive or that the issues are not serious.”
Adding to her frustration, she said her husband has not been supportive of her personal goals. “I recently received a job offer after multiple interviews, but he discouraged me from taking it and said I’m not capable. He also criticises my studies and downplays my work.”
Eventually, she reached her limit and brought up the idea of separating, but his reaction surprised her.
“His first reaction was to talk about money and asset division. He said I’m overreacting because there is no cheating or major issue. He also said he wants a divorce immediately, saying since we are already separating, there is no point wasting time, and we should just divorce.”
“At this point, I feel emotionally disconnected and unsupported. Am I overreacting by wanting to leave? We split daily expenses equally, but there is no support for personal or emotional needs outside of that.”
In an edit to her post, she clarified that they “don’t have kids yet” and stressed that “money” was never the reason she married him. In fact, she said she earns “about a third more” than her husband and has a higher level of education.
“When we got married, we didn’t even have a wedding banquet, honeymoon, or photoshoot. Even our wedding rings were paid for by me,” she added.
“I married him because I loved him. We’ve always split our expenses 50/50. Sometimes I treat him to meals, and there were also times I transferred him money when I knew he was tight. If money were my priority, I wouldn’t have married him under those circumstances in the first place.”
She also shared that she has tried to salvage the relationship by suggesting simple activities they could do together. “I’ve suggested things we could do together, like badminton, running, or watching movies, but he usually rejects them. Yet he is willing to do similar things with his friends.”
With regard to the possibility that changes in her appearance may have affected the relationship, she said she has continued to take care of herself “the same way as before.”
“[I’ve been] maintaining my weight, doing my hair, facial, lashes, nails, etc. He’s actually the one who stopped caring about his appearance and has gained quite a bit of weight since we got married.”
“It sounds like both parties are checked out of the marriage.”
In the discussion thread, Singaporean Redditors were supportive of the woman and reassured her that she was not “overreacting” for suggesting a divorce.
One said, “The way he reacted means he already checked out of the relationship long ago. You’re not overreacting. Cut your losses, especially if no kids. I wish you well.”
Another wrote, “Cheating isn’t the only reason for divorcing someone. If he’s not making the effort to spend quality time with you, be emotionally attuned to you, you’re basically just housemates. His reaction to money and asset division also says a lot. Suggest you consult a divorce lawyer privately and refrain from mentioning anything to him for now. Start consolidating receipts.”
A third added, “No kids, but already lonely? If he chooses his friends over spending time with you, you already know the answer.”
A few others, however, advised that she try marriage counselling first.
One user commented, “It sounds like both parties are checked out of the marriage. You should ask yourself if you want to salvage this relationship. He didn’t cheat or have any major issues, so y’all can try marriage couple therapy and see if it helps. But it takes two hands to clap. If he is unwilling to put in the effort, then you can throw in the towel.”
In other news, a 23-year-old employee has sought advice online after noticing that her senior colleague, a 27-year-old woman who is four years older, has been “stalking” her at work.
In her post on a local forum, the employee shared that the colleague has been “obsessively” monitoring her movements and keeping tabs on “what she eats, what she’s doing at her desk, and how she carries out her experiments or deals with machines in the lab.”
Read more: ‘It’s been half a year of this’ —Employee says colleague keeps ‘stalking’ her at work
This article (‘Just like housemates’: Wife questions divorce after feeling neglected in marriage) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.
